Chronically Awkward Life

When we realize that we have been living our life for someone else, it is our responsibility to ourselves to take hold of our worth, make the change and live the life you are meant to have.

3 years ago now. Seems like just yesterday sometimes.

The hardest cover letter I had ever written. Ugh!! Why!!?? It’s just a job. Three days of writing and crossing out and re-writting. How to sound professional and explain about the length you’ve smoked… um how do you even go about this? Coming from real estate, I had no clue what budtending would be like, or how professional this industry was. Plus, I had good ol’ mother’s words ringing in my head and her disappointed face burning bright in my mind’s eye. “So you’re selling drugs then?” Her eyes like daggers and disappointment stretched her thin lips tight accross her face. “You could do so much more with your life. How disappointing.” She has never been supportive of my choices. Even as a child, everything I did was to fit inside the life box she provided. Careful not to step outside for fear of others judgement and ridicule. For most of my life, that’s how I had lived. It’s still a strugle for me on occasion. It wasn’t until I decided to step into the industry that I started to break the life long hold fear of judgement had on me. So yah… this cover letter, of all cover letters, felt like climbing Mt. Everest! As soon as I finished and read it to a few people who approved, I turned it in. It took 30 seconds, and it was all out of my hands.

Anxiously Waiting 

Never have I been so anxious about a job, but I understood my anxiety. I had been living with the burden of judgement all my childhood and into my adult life. So choosing to embark into an industry, while legal in Oregon is still federally illegal, weighed heavy on me, but nothing in my life had felt this right before.

You’re hired! My soul job! To be around people and be comfortable was so new to me, I was literally high on life for months. I knew from the first few moments, that still industry is my home and my passion. I BELONG HERE. I have grown and learned so much about myself and life and it never stops! There’s always more!

I have been drawn to cannabis for as long as I’ve had a choice to choose it. I love everything about it, from seed to smoke and all in between. I don’t discriminate on consumption either, it all has a place in my world. Growing into a young adult, I knew that this was the plant for me. No, not a gateway drug, but a solution to bringing peace to my mind and body. This is why I’m a budtendris. This and the connections we stoners make in our circles. Our life blood.

I am excited to dive into this blogging journey with Budtender Nation and all of you. I’ll do my best to represent budtenders and budtendrises (um ya, that’s ma word) as a whole. Stay stoney and lifted lover faces!!

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any other agency, organization, employer or company.